have faith in yourself

"Don't let insecurities hold you back..."

Hey ya. It's been a while. And a lot have been happening. But as of now, I'm supposed to be busy mugging for exams /and not blogging/. 2 more days to my very last paper in polytechnic yay! And next week would be my only holiday before FYP starts... which means, I'll be going through an intense 6 months of being locked up (lol not literally) in the lab + internship with no more school breaks! Nuuu I'm sooo not physically ready for that halppp. Mentally? I'm always not mentally ready for anything anyways so why bother.

So anyways, I felt that this year's Ramadan and Syawal passed by too quickly. It's like, they left me just the moment I started to feel the excitement. Not to mention, the atmosphere was very different from the previous years'. It was my first time celebrating Hari Raya without any grandparent. Instead of visiting makcik's house on the very first day of Raya (cos my arwah tokmak used to stay at her place), we diverted to my grandma's sister's place. I gotta admit it was unusual and I really miss the old times. Good old days. 

:(

Syawal, in a nutshell

UPDATE || SYAWAL'S WHATABOUTS

Syawal 1434 hijriah has been a good but dashing one. To sum it up, this year's hari raya was pleasantly satisfying. Except for the fact that my late grandmother is not around to celebrate 'Eid with us. My prayer goes to you nenek. I miss you. *hearts all over*

The family went pink, turquoise, purple and black this year. I just love the idea of having this color-code thing. I can sorta feel the unity lol. Anyways, we only bought a couple of new outfits this year while the rest are recycled ones. I don't feel the need of buying half a dozen of hari raya outfits to be honest 'cos the most important day for us Muslims to don up is during 1st Syawal only. We are encouraged to dress nicely to celebrate the victory BUT don't over-celebrate alright. Note to self before others. :)

This year's hari raya was also packed with school stuff i.e EXAMS and my overseas trip's briefings to China. Yup, I'm going to Guangzhou & Hong Kong in 2 weeks time and I can't explain how I feel. The dream of having a getaway.... and now its happening. But kinda nervous at the same time 'cos I'll be away from beloved family for 2 weeks! Can you imagine that? Haha but all is well, Insya Allah. Oh, and did I mentioned exams earlier? Hip hip hoorayyy exams are over. *Big smile with double chin exposed* :DD

Currently, I'm working with an Islamic organisation called MIRROR, in writing articles for their e-magazine. I've just read their mag and well, I gotta say that it's super cool & it is definitely a great initiative by them to set up such organisation in spreading our religion and giving heads up to the youths out there. *Two thumbs up!*
>>> You can read MIRROR online magazine here: http://www.mirror-mag.com/

Other than that, I intend to practice and brush up my calligraphy skill. Went to the art friend the other day with a friend and as usual without fail, brought back their unique coloured markers. I'm a fan of markers! Especially when they have pretty colours with unusual tips! Yeah, just my thing.

SIDE TRACK || FRIENDS AND TRUST

Oh by the way, I was thinking about friendship these days. And it kinda saddens me, knowing the fact or possibility that your 'real' or 'close' friends might be a stranger in the future. Pretty scary ain't it? I mean like, c'mon, we can't see the future (duh) and these things might just happen to anyone of us. And it sure gonna be painful right? I hope that my friendships with all my friends will sustain lah of course but we have to prepare for the worst. This issue kept me thinking and made me realised that only ONE will last. And He is Allah SWT, our Creator. We might lost our friends and family but Allah is always with us.

For that, I hold on to this saying:
TRUST NOBODY EXCEPT ALLAH AND YOURSELF BECAUSE YOU NEVER KNOW WHEN THOSE 'REAL' FRIENDS WILL DISAPPEAR. 
(Well, I'm not too sure if you can find the link between the quote and what I was trying to say but yeah, don't be TOO connected to your friends (i repeat, friends) for it's gonna be painful if something undesired were to happen.)

Naudzubillahi miin dzaalik. 

The first and last, I hope.

Its past midnight and I'm still awake. Well, you can say that I'm practically nocturnal. Especially during the exam period (yes its the exam period for us poly students in case you're not aware).

I'm supposed to be posting about raya already but nah I guess I'll save that for later. Anyways, raya visiting isn't done yet. Shall post on raya when it's totally over, yea?

Actually I have something 'tragic' to write about. It's about an incident, occured yesterday morning when I was on my way to school to sit for my first paper.
Since the paper is at 9am, I went out an hour earlier. And since I was quite early, I've decided to bus to woodlands for the shuttle bus to NYP. When I reached the interchange, I rushed to the queue that I usually go to & was quite happy to see the huge yellow bus. I ran (explains that I didn't really looked around) and was the last one to board the bus. Got a seat, chilled and rest my head by the window.

Weirdly, this time round, the journey to NYP seemed to take forever. The route was also unusual. I started to panic.

"Shoot, where is this bus bringing me?"

I looked around. I can't be boarding a workers' bus 'cos surrounding me were students with notes on their hands.

The clock was ticking fast. My paper is at 9am. My mind went blank.

After 3/4 of the journey, I realised that the bus is heading to Ngee Ann instead. Now, tell me what am I supposed to do?!?!?!?!

"Should I call the lecturer and take an MC? But its an exam, not a normal tutorial. Plus, I'm not sick at all!" Sigh pie. 

Worst, I can't possibly stop the driver and tell him to drop me by the road. With my poor road sense, it would make things worst. So, I just waited patiently for the bus to reach Ngee Ann.

And guess what I did afterwards? Haha, being a typical Singaporean, I just ran to the side road and flagged for a taxi.

"Uncle, can you please drive me to NYP? I'm very late already uncle. I have exam at 9am. Can you like drive by the fastest route? Pleaseee."

And phew, good that I got such a kind-hearted and fatherly taxi driver. He asked me what happened and I went storytelling everything. By then, I was left with only 15 mote minutes before the exam starts.

I really don't how to describe my emotions at that point of time. *double face palm*

To make it worst, I was already a bit giddy due to the long shuttle bus ride. Now, plus another long taxi ride from Ngee Ann to Nanyang Poly. I couldn't really revise for my exam. And upon seeing me in that state, the uncle told me to calm down and relax.

"Close your eyes girl and relax. Later around 10 to 15mins, you'll reach your school."

I gotta admit that those kinda soothing words help to calm me down. Thanks uncle. Haha.

I did manage to call my personal mentor to tell him about my wherebeing. And I'm so blessed to have such wonderful people around me. My mentor even told me to tell the taxi driver to avoid going by CTE due to the heavy traffic. And if the invigilator refuses to let me into the exam hall, he told me to call him and he'll come down to the hall to explain. Blessed Alhamdulillah.

So, in the end, managed to reach school around 9.15am. And guess what? The invigilator didn't even asked a word (except for asking me to show my IC lol).

Alhamdulillah, did the paper calmly.

This incident serves me as a lesson, also an experience (hopefully my last tho). Will try to be as early as I could for future events for these kinda uncontrolled and undesired things may happen. But above all, everything happens for a reason.

Till then, xoxo.