have faith in yourself

"Don't let insecurities hold you back..."

Hey ya. It's been a while. And a lot have been happening. But as of now, I'm supposed to be busy mugging for exams /and not blogging/. 2 more days to my very last paper in polytechnic yay! And next week would be my only holiday before FYP starts... which means, I'll be going through an intense 6 months of being locked up (lol not literally) in the lab + internship with no more school breaks! Nuuu I'm sooo not physically ready for that halppp. Mentally? I'm always not mentally ready for anything anyways so why bother.

So anyways, I felt that this year's Ramadan and Syawal passed by too quickly. It's like, they left me just the moment I started to feel the excitement. Not to mention, the atmosphere was very different from the previous years'. It was my first time celebrating Hari Raya without any grandparent. Instead of visiting makcik's house on the very first day of Raya (cos my arwah tokmak used to stay at her place), we diverted to my grandma's sister's place. I gotta admit it was unusual and I really miss the old times. Good old days. 

:(

Syawal, in a nutshell

UPDATE || SYAWAL'S WHATABOUTS

Syawal 1434 hijriah has been a good but dashing one. To sum it up, this year's hari raya was pleasantly satisfying. Except for the fact that my late grandmother is not around to celebrate 'Eid with us. My prayer goes to you nenek. I miss you. *hearts all over*

The family went pink, turquoise, purple and black this year. I just love the idea of having this color-code thing. I can sorta feel the unity lol. Anyways, we only bought a couple of new outfits this year while the rest are recycled ones. I don't feel the need of buying half a dozen of hari raya outfits to be honest 'cos the most important day for us Muslims to don up is during 1st Syawal only. We are encouraged to dress nicely to celebrate the victory BUT don't over-celebrate alright. Note to self before others. :)

This year's hari raya was also packed with school stuff i.e EXAMS and my overseas trip's briefings to China. Yup, I'm going to Guangzhou & Hong Kong in 2 weeks time and I can't explain how I feel. The dream of having a getaway.... and now its happening. But kinda nervous at the same time 'cos I'll be away from beloved family for 2 weeks! Can you imagine that? Haha but all is well, Insya Allah. Oh, and did I mentioned exams earlier? Hip hip hoorayyy exams are over. *Big smile with double chin exposed* :DD

Currently, I'm working with an Islamic organisation called MIRROR, in writing articles for their e-magazine. I've just read their mag and well, I gotta say that it's super cool & it is definitely a great initiative by them to set up such organisation in spreading our religion and giving heads up to the youths out there. *Two thumbs up!*
>>> You can read MIRROR online magazine here: http://www.mirror-mag.com/

Other than that, I intend to practice and brush up my calligraphy skill. Went to the art friend the other day with a friend and as usual without fail, brought back their unique coloured markers. I'm a fan of markers! Especially when they have pretty colours with unusual tips! Yeah, just my thing.

SIDE TRACK || FRIENDS AND TRUST

Oh by the way, I was thinking about friendship these days. And it kinda saddens me, knowing the fact or possibility that your 'real' or 'close' friends might be a stranger in the future. Pretty scary ain't it? I mean like, c'mon, we can't see the future (duh) and these things might just happen to anyone of us. And it sure gonna be painful right? I hope that my friendships with all my friends will sustain lah of course but we have to prepare for the worst. This issue kept me thinking and made me realised that only ONE will last. And He is Allah SWT, our Creator. We might lost our friends and family but Allah is always with us.

For that, I hold on to this saying:
TRUST NOBODY EXCEPT ALLAH AND YOURSELF BECAUSE YOU NEVER KNOW WHEN THOSE 'REAL' FRIENDS WILL DISAPPEAR. 
(Well, I'm not too sure if you can find the link between the quote and what I was trying to say but yeah, don't be TOO connected to your friends (i repeat, friends) for it's gonna be painful if something undesired were to happen.)

Naudzubillahi miin dzaalik. 

berlalulah sudah Ramadan,

Selamat Hari Raya Aidilifitri, Maaf Zahir dan Batin to all the Muslims out there :')

Kullu 'am wa antum bikheir, Insya Allah. Taqabbalallaahu minnaa wa minkum.
(No, this post will not be on Hari Raya. I'll create a separate post on that later.)

Ramadan's Atmosphere: 

In a blink of an eye, Ramadan has passed us. To be honest, I couldn't really feel it. Most of my time were occupied with school and project. And I hope that the future Ramadans will be far far better than this year's.

This year marks the first Ramadan without Nenek's presence after 19 years. It's different. Usually, nenek and ibu will wake up early in the morning to prepare the pre-dawn meals, but the atmosphere was different this time round. I truly miss here presence.

Ema doakan agar nenek ditempatkan bersama orang-orang yang beriman, Insya Allah Ameen. Ema rindu sangat sangat dekat nenek. :'(

Iftar Jamai'e at Irsyad:

In the midst of stress due to project, I kinda got the chance to release bit of it, when my big siblings from Al-Irsyad finally gathered in our former school to break fast together. It is our school's tradition to hold a mass iftar session every year.. and the alumni will certainly attend them without fail (well I hope this will go on, even after we all got married and have kids hehe). The best thing about my big family is that, even though we haven't met for quite a while, there is no awkwardness when we are together! Just like the old times. Just like how it used to be for the past 11 years (yes we grew up together for 11 years, beat that). Its exciting to see everyone with their own lives right now. Some are in their year 2s and going off to the Middle East countries soon to pursue their Ukhrawi studies. Some are in year 2s too, but in JC. Soon-to-be university students. Some are in poly (just like me) who just can't wait to graduate (or is it just me? lol). While some are in ITE, and soon they will graduate and join us in poly yayness! ANDDD, the most exciting part is that, one of our fellow girlfriend has just got married and she will host her wedding reception next week! Again, will meet my big family Insya Allah.
Dah besar semua. Dah jadi isteri orang dah. :')

Final Project Presentation:

This year's 6 credits project module was a nightmare. Well, we need to build a website (just like the past 2 semesters) but using a different language this time which is Java. I enjoyed designing websites and creating user interfaces but when it comes to programming, thats what I'm weak at. It's not that I'm totally hopeless at it, but I just couldn't be bothered. I won't really Google and explore and study them for the sake of knowledge. Even if I do, it would be for the sake of getting the job done and thats it.

We were given 16 weeks to complete the entire website. Usually, at week 10, we are 70% complete (based on last 2 years' experience). But this time round, were only managed to complete about 20% of the whole thing when it's actually week 15! Can you imagine that?! We were so dead. But actually, the other groups were the same too (at least all of us stood at the same level, so ya).

So in the end, I just did whatever I can and face the final presentation with the hope of getting an A. But Alhamdulillah, I was given another chance to go for the distinction presentation when I thought that I can forget about the project already. So, I had to come back to school a day before Hari Raya for the presentation and fuh, I think I did quite well.

Whatever it is, finally everything is over and I can reboot my laptop already 'cos its slowly turning into a snail. T_T

And now, I'm having my 2 weeks study break, followed by exams and finally the long semester break! Just can't wait to get the exams done (every semester also I say like this la, lol). But this time's break is gonna be different 'cos Insya Allah, I'll be spending 2 weeks in China! Excited for that hee ^^,

xoxo.